THE D.I.E.T.

DIAGNOSTIC INSTIGATION ETHOMOLOGICAL TECHNIQUE

WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT?

Do not be deterred by the title of this blog, but if people are paying 500 euro per head for a workshop or seminar, they should get their words worth as well as their money’s worth. It’s 1000 euro for the Special Deluxe Personal Just For You Customized Option.

You’ll be belle of the ball when you utter those four words – Diet Instigation Etymological Technique. How cool is that! You’re not just an ordinary punter on a diet or weight loss ‘programme’. You’re ‘special’. You’re paying through the nose or paying an arm and a leg for something you know how to do already. (Don’t you love these idioms?). AND this is not just about weight loss, it’s about losing everything you don’t need in your life, every scrap of tat and tit-for-tat that has prevented you from moving forward.

EAT MY WORDS NOT MY DANISH PASTRY

The word ‘Diet’ is no longer in vogue. Healthy Eating, Bust Your Ass, Go Bananas, Eggs Galore, Shake Don’t Bake. You can google the rest yourself. I’m not here to inform you. My intention is to confuse you so that you book another session with me. As I said, you should and WILL get your words worth, or I’ll have to eat them, my words that is.

The word ‘Negative’ is equally off the menu. Positivity is the signpost to the Land of Forever Feeling Great about oneself. Negate and re-activate. You’re about to enter the world of passion and have the affair of your life with Will Power.

THE REAL WILL

This is not the guy in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, nor the UK’s Prince William. Nor is it Aunty Lala’s possible ‘leaving you something after she’s died’ will. This is the REAL WILL. “Confused? You won’t be after this week’s episode of Soap”. That dates me! Back to Will. These are the operative words to focus on. Your REAL WILL.

Will Power is your key to unlock the door to where you want to be. It’s the push you need to do something positive for yourself. It’s a challenge thrown out to you by the Gods of Luscious Cakes who are sniggering at you, knowing you can’t resist one bite, two, three, or a thousand bites.

They are ruthless, but today I will TEACH YOU how to be equally ruthless. You will learn the power of willpower, the power of keeping your mouth shut, the power of being in thrall to me and my amazing course – Diagnostic Instigation Etymological Technique. Eliminate the word diet from your vocab from your head. This is the new scientific way forward, the only way. It’s really not about weight loss. That’s an added benefit. It’s about YOU!

YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR

What more can one say! If you want style and charisma and amazingness and that ‘ultra-sneery-face I’m better than you’ look, this course is for you.

Unlike many other courses, that repeat themselves endlessly and have no substance, my Diagnostic Instigation Etymological Technique, is unique, real, and works! Diagnostic Instigation Etymological Technique, is not a fad. Diagnostic Instigation Etymological Technique, is not repetitive. Diagnostic Instigation Etymological Technique, is calorie free, fat free, carb , negativity free, and all of that at one amazing price.

A PEEP BEHIND THE SCENES

‘Today, I have the ultimate weapon for all you ladies and gentlemen. The one and only weapon you need in your quest for freedom. The one and only weapon you need in the battle of the bulge. Would you like me to tell you what it is?’

‘YES!’ the audience shouted.

‘I can’t hear you. Louder.’

‘YES! YES! YES!’ The reverberation was like a roll of thunder…..

‘Let me introduce Mr Will Power, the weapon of your choice, the man of your dreams. Sorry gents if you attend tomorrow’s session I can introduce you and hu to the alternative Will Power.’

To the sound of James Bond music, the door swung open and in strode an even better version of any James Bond ever seen. Suave. Sophisticated. Superbly built. The Lamborghini of men. A bit dim-witted but that suited my purpose. The audience rose and applauded shouting wildly – a wee bit out of control, but hey ho!

Placing my arm around his not inconsiderable muscle-bound shoulders (I had to stand on a stool) I whispered. ‘Do your stuff and make sure you do it well or no fee. Capeesh?’

Stuttering slightly, he greeted the audience. I poked him hard in his side. He cleared his throat and started again.

‘My name is Will Power and I am totally at your service. I will fight for you, even kill for you. I’m extremely versatile and can survive for weeks without sleep. I will be there when you try to get out of bed to raid the biscuit tin at 2am. I will persuade you nicely that biscuit-ramming is not a good idea. I will be there when you flirt with negativity persuading you nicely that it never works. If ‘nice’ doesn’t work I will crush you. I will kill you.’

I poked him again this time a lot harder. ‘That’s not part of the script, you idiot.’ Turning to the audience who were quite chastened I managed a fake laugh. ‘He’s only joking’.

He smiled his thousand-watt smile melting every heart, man, and woman alike within a ten-mile radius. ‘Sorry, ladies and gents. I got carried away, but that’s because I care about you deeply, each and every one of you’. He paused his eyes roaming covetously over every face. Not a sound could be heard not even the proverbial pin that dropped. He whispered and every neck craned forward their eyes locked on his.

‘I am Will Power. I am yours for life. Love me like I love you’. He bowed and exited the room leaving the essence of the Will Power effect behind him and an audience of believers in thrall forevermore. No dastardly custard cream would pass their lips ever again. No lips would form words of negativity. Their minds would be cleansed and rewired to think only positive powerful thoughts.

THE ULTIMATE COURSE JUST FOR YOU

If you want to learn my methods and how to recreate your life and help others I have an online course with the option of attending two intensive workshops. I will teach you everything you need to know to combat any people focused issues or problems. I will show you how to turn cheap glitter into pure gold. I will tell you the secret, one only you and I will know.

You will learn how working only 2 days a week can bring you an income of half a million. Double your time and double your money. You do the maths for that one. That’s not including the sale of any publications, CDs, or tat regarding this amazing course.

Get on course and do MY course. You won’t live to regret it. The special price for YOU today and this is a one-time offer only is 5500 dollars a snip at what you will be earning in a month’s time.

A special message for a lovely young lady in Cape Town whose name begins with K. She is accident prone when reading my blogs. Clicks do sell adult incontinence pads.