SELF COACHING

If you’ve come here looking for answers I don’t have them. You do! You can write the script of your own story. I’m your inner voice prompting you when you falter. Time to begin. 

Why are you here?

‘I want more time for myself. I want to be more positive. I want to be assertive and not let people walk all over me. I want to be heard. I want promotion. I want to find the true me. I want to be financially secure. I want to write a novel. I want to follow my dreams.’

That’s a lot of ‘wants’. Do you know what “want” means? It’s the desire to possess, the need to do something. How strong is your desire? What are you doing to realize these desires? What is your plan?

‘Being positive. Thinking about them daily. Using them as mantras.’

And is that working for you?

‘Well, not quite. Actually, it’s not working at all. I thought positive thinking was enough to realize your goals and dreams.’

Sure, but it needs to be backed up with action. If you don’t move your legs you won’t get anywhere. If you don’t turn the key in the ignition of your car, you’ll still be parked by the kerb. If you don’t get your car serviced regularly, it will break down. You are the engine that runs your life. Prioritize the “I”. Prioritize “Your Self.”

MAKE TIME YOUR FRIEND

‘But I said I don’t have time. I have too much to do and I can’t be selfish. I’m too busy and…’

Stop! Pause! Take a deep breath. You’re allowing yourself to become overwhelmed. Write a list of everything you have to do on a daily basis, no matter how mundane it seems. Break it down into meaningful chunks. Don’t look at it as a whole lot of stuff you must do. Perceive it as a jigsaw puzzle and the pieces will fit together giving you a clear picture. Make time your friend, not your enemy. By doing this you’re shifting gears from negative to positive mode.

‘I’ll try that.’

Don’t ‘try’. Do it. Exert yourself and get out of your comfort zone.

BEING POSITIVE

Don’t slump at lunchtime. Use it as an energy break. That’s its true purpose. Even a ten-minute walk will energize you. Or ten minutes of meditation in a quiet setting will calm your mind. See these as gifts to yourself. Imagine, being able to give yourself those precious gifts every day. Serenity and energy. If it’s raining, use that wonderful invention called the umbrella. If your mind says no, your reply is YES! Refuse to acknowledge the negative tweebs. Positivity is all about you, the real you, and You deserve the best. Smile at yourself in the mirror and know that today and every other day will be driven and lived with purpose and positivity.

ASSERTIVENESS

First and foremost, be assertive with Your Self. When you feel overwhelmed press the pause button and rewind. Is what you’re doing right now essential? Is it a priority? Can it be done tomorrow? You have the choice to move on and deal with the essentials in your life. No-on else can do that for you. It’s your responsibility. You’re topping up your car engine with petrol not water, something that makes it move forward instead of stalling. Choice between eating a dozen doughnuts or healthy foods – you’re asserting YOUR right to treat your body kindly and assure its engine (like the car) runs smoothly.

I love doughnuts.’ ‘

Who doesn’t, but just eat the middle of them.

PROMOTION

Healthy, wealthy, and wise. Healthy in mind and body. Strong and filled with purpose. Wealthy in knowledge, knowing your aims and goals, makes you walk tall and stand out from the crowd. Research everything you need to know to gain that promotion. Learn it – inhale it. Live it. You want it? Go for it! You’ve done the work – now reach out and upwards and grab it! 

But what if someone else gets it. It’s a competitive world.

Never shrink back from adversity. Show the world you mean what you say and do what you mean. Sure, you’re allowed 5 minutes self-pity, rant-moments – but no more. Do more research. Be creative. Be impressive. Push the start button again and rev into first gear. You want it, then go and get it!

Start writing your novel. It just takes one word, add another and another and you’ve passed the start line. Self-Promote yourself into the zone you want to be in.

DREAM BUILDING

All your desires are linked. The progress you’ve made so far has brought you closer to the realization of those desires and dreams. If you look closely at your life you’ve already achieved some of them. That should give you a Wow moment. What else can you do? Think. List. Source all and every bit of information you need to build your dreams. A house is made of many components, each one adding value to the other and creating a whole. Treat your desires the same way, a work in progress, brick upon brick, something you build on daily. Be your own cheerleader and make those dreams a reality. The seeds you planted in the Spring are now flowering and in full bloom. What’s your ‘Wow moment’ today?

‘I got up fifteen minutes earlier. I had prepared my tea tray last night. Seeing that was a wow moment in itself. The aroma of the fresh coffee was another, and that first sip was bliss.’

Congratulations and be proud of your achievements. Continue to enjoy the mindfulness and build on those precious self-moments. May the Wow factor be with you today and every day

MANAGING DIRECTOR OF THE HOME

Yes, that’s you. Karen Carter in Cape Town, and all the other amazing MD’s of the home. The parent who is ‘working’ at home – in a demanding environment and unpaid. Your children are at different ages and equally their needs are different. They have no concept of time, per se, and do not recognize coffee breaks. Remember you’re the managing director and your employees are your children.

This is your career! You’re self-employed and responsible for everything. Your ‘little employees’ want their demands met NOW! You can’t sack them. The reality is that you are juggling with numerous chores at high performance. Problem solving. Organizing. Mediating. Developing.

Managing. Influencing. Teaching. You are adaptable and calm in a crisis, (most of the time). This is just the tip of the iceberg. All of these skills are transferrable if and when you choose to return to the PAID workforce or start your own business. You’re already halfway there, if not more. 

So difficult as it may seem, try to avoid getting into a ‘doesn’t matter no-one can see me mode.’ Treat your home like an office. As much as possible break your day up into segments – childcare, housework, prepping meals, playtime (not yours), going out for a walk. Make the impossible -possible. It’s an adventure, a roller-coaster ride with tumbles galore. Congratulations on your achievement. You’re a valuable asset with 100% productivity. 

WEAR A SMILE

That should be the first thing you don every morning. Wear the brightest smile that will take you through the day. Precious memories can evoke a smile. The sweet look on your sleeping child’s face. The love in your partner’s eyes when they gaze at you.

You have so many ‘smile inducing’ images and moments stored in your mind. Make it a daily habit to ponder on one or two and raise your serotonin levels to a new height. My current special ‘smile inducing’ moments are of our grandchildren. Our 5-year-old grand-daughter, Chloe, telling us we are the apple of her eye. Saoirse, who is 7, announcing she’s an ‘office’ as her mode of dress is a dress and cardigan, instead of her usual unique wear.

Our 4-year-old grandson, Taizhe, winking cheekily at the camera and giving us the thumbs up. Two-year-old, Oisin, singing whilst still managing to suck his fingers. And last but certainly not least, our beautiful 15-year-old Tayla, who is talented and absolutely amazing. Just a few precious treasures I can mentally view daily.

‘You make it sound so simple. Is it really?’

Yes.

Albert Einstein — ‘Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.’

I have written two novels available on Amazon!