Master: ‘No matter how long I live on this earth I’m still surprised how we as a human race forget the importance of love, forget the joy and strength of that love. We take each other for granted, lead disparate lives, and yet when we are together we don’t see each other. Our gaze is on a screen not on the face of the person we claim to love. It saddens me.’
Woman: ‘You’re describing my life, our lives, but we have too many problems to face so we avoid them.’
Master: ‘Are you avoiding the problems or each other? Perhaps you don’t want to talk about your relationship.’
Woman: ‘Yes, I do. But my partner shuts me down with some stupid comment so I don’t bother. I’ve given up and I really don’t know why we are here to take advice from someone who doesn’t know us, or that we don’t know.’
Man: ‘Don’t you want our relationship to work? Don’t you care anymore?’
Master: ‘It’s the same story with every couple I meet. No communication. Questions not being answered. Fear of facing each other.’ He turned and looked at the woman. ‘What concerns you the most about this relationship?’
Woman: ‘I don’t know where to start. We have too many problems we can’t solve or even agree on. I know I worry too much, or so he says.’ She points at the man accusingly.
‘Someone has to though. I feel aggrieved that I’m working so hard and yet the bulk of the household chores and responsibilities fall on my shoulders. I worry that we have no savings. Zilch! What if something happens to either one os us? The bank will take our home and what then? He doesn’t see the bigger picture. I know he works hard also, but his job is not as stressful as mine.’
Man: ‘That’s a load of codswallop and you know it. Just because I don’t moan about it and remain positive doesn’t mean it’s not stressful or that I don;t have problems. I don’t want to come home and unload it all on you, not that you would give me a chance anyway. You’re totally self-obsessed.’
Woman: ‘Listen to Mr Ego who wants to fix everyone’s else’s problems but not ours. You get a kick out of it. It feeds your vanity and that tells me you don’t care about me, don’t even respect me. I’m not important in your life, but I’m important in my own life and that’s what counts. I’m leaving.’
She gets up. Tears are rolling down her face. She looks at the master imploringly.
Master: ‘Would you please stay – just a little longer. All the years you’ve spent together are worth too much to discard so easily.’
She nods and sinks back onto the chair. The master smiles at her and then he places a basket full of small pebbles on the table between them.
‘I would like you both to focus clearly on all your worries and problems. Visualize one worry or problem you have – one at a time. Pick up a pebble and imagine that is the problem. Can you solve it? Is it important? What would happen if you totally ignored it and deleted it from your mind? If you’re happy with your answer decide to keep the pebble and place it in the empty basket near you. If you want to discard it – do so. The bin is nearby.’
The couple were silent as they did the task – totally engrossed in what soon became a process of elimination. The basket of pebbles was only half full now.
Man: ‘I’m not sure about this. It seems so juvenile and life isn’t that simple.’
Master: ‘True, but you’ve already binned quite a lot without thinking about it. Do you have any more worries or problems, or can you move forward with this lighter load? Remember, discard what is not important.’
There was only one pebble left in the basket and they both reached for it. Briefly their hands touched and they smiled at each other. Neither of them removed that last pebble.
Master: ‘There is one pebble left representing something to both of you. How unhappy is it making you? Is it important enough to you to solve it? Are you prepared to solve it?’ They didn’t respond.
‘Tell me, why are you afraid of showing your love for each other? Are you afraid it weakens you? Are you afraid it won’t last?’
Woman: ‘I am afraid it won’t last. This has happened too many times and each time we arrive at the same impasse with the same issues. I’m tired of it all.’
Man: ‘And so am I. We’ve been going around in circles for years. It’s all work, work, work, and then when I get home she’s annoyed about something one of her family did or didn’t do, and I have to listen to that. She never thinks to ask me how I am or how I feel?’
Woman: ‘I work all day too. You’re not the only one and you know I have certain responsibilities to my family. You have no empathy. If it’s not about you then you don’t think it’s important.’
Master: ‘All these things you both see as problems are immaterial. They are worldly responsibilities and duties you must take care of, but once that’s done you still have each other – if you choose to. Can this family responsibility be shared? Are there other people who can help with it?’
Man: ‘She wouldn’t agree. I think she likes the burden and likes being a martyr.’
Woman: ‘Says Mr Positive who will help everyone else, but not me or my family. I’m not important enough in your life. I feel like I don’t count.’
Master: ‘Two people walked into this room today, both hurting, both feeling angry. Now you can choose to walk away and keep all those negative feelings, because I assure you they won’t go away. You can separate and continue to focus on these negative issues, or you can make one of the most important decisions of your life.’
Woman: ‘I don’t think there is any right decision, and none so important it can change my mind. I want to live what’s left of my life in peace.’
Love is like a diamond
Master: ‘Before either of you decide, I would like to tell you one thing. Your love for each other has been hidden underneath all those pebbles. Each pebble represented a problem in your lives and yet you discarded them easily. There is one pebble left.’
He picked it up. They gasped when they saw a huge diamond shining so brightly it lit up every dark corner, and chased away every shadow. The pebbles they had discarded and thrown into the bin dissolved into dust, no longer significant. All that mattered was the light in the room.
‘This is the love you have for each other. I’ve seen into your hearts and know how brightly it shines, The only thing stopping both of you from acknowledging it is fear of rejection. Let go of that fear.’
Man and Woman: ‘Is it possible?’
Master: ‘Anything is possible. This is about both of you as a couple. Yes, you are individuals with different viewpoints, different opinions, but none of that mattered when you first met. You saw it as a benefit then – balancing each other.
You perceived each other as different parts of a jigsaw fitting together, and completing a beautiful picture, Your different strengths enabled you to be supportive of each other. Then you lost some of the jigsaw pieces and instead of looking for them you shrugged it off, thinking it wasn’t important.
When was the last time you looked into each other’s Eyes?
When was the last time you looked at each other, into each other’s eyes? When was the last time you smiled when you thought about each other? Are you prepared to allow life’s daily niggles to separate you for whatever time is left? It could be days, a month, perhaps years. None of us know when our final moment on this earth will come.’
The couple were shocked and their hands reached out across the table and clasped tightly. Their eyes locked and mirrored the purity and incandescence of the diamond.
Master: You may have walked the same road together so far, but along the way you’ve created your own curves that have drawn you apart. Every day you both perform your duties – in the workplace, in the home, in your family environment. Accept that these are an essential part of your individual lives.
Every day you charge up your phones, ipads, laptops and all the other equipment that is necessary to do all this external work. Do the same for your relationship.. Recconnect daily. You made a commitment many years ago and you have a responsibility to honour it, and ensure you honour and respect each other. The jigsaw pieces are not lost. If you look they are easily found.
The past is gone and can’t be changed so why worry about it.
Woman: ‘I know it will still intrude. How can it not?’
Master: ‘Do you want it to? Is it of any value to you to look back and continue to feel aggrieved about things you can’t change?’
Man: ‘But these things have changed us, brought us to where we are now. They’re not easily discarded.’
Master: ‘But you did discard them when you filled the bin with pebbles. You made valid choices. Do you need to focus on these past issues to make you feel better?’
Both: ‘No, definitely not!’
Seize the Moment
Master: ‘So don’t let the past disrupt the present. Consider yourselves in the “now moment”. Seize that as your right, as a gift to each other and as a clear path towards your future. By creating a happier present you’re creating a happier future. Allow the blessings of the universe to colour everything you see, everything you think, everything you do. Stay strong in unity with each other.
Love is a powerful emotion and it never goes away. You may think it does but you’ve merely hidden it. Focus on each other and allow the peace to permeate and reconnect you. Open your hearts to each other and trust in the love that brought you together. Renew the vows you made to each other.’
You are the beginning of my day
You are the beginning of my day,
My first thoughts are with you.
Throughout the day
I stop and think about you,
A smile on my face, my heart overflowing with love for you.
In those more serious moments when we have challenges to meet,
I still think about you and the depth of our love.
As night-time chases away the last of the daylight
And encloses us in its velvet cloak,
I am held close to your heart,
Secure in our love.
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