We all perceive life differently. We deal with traumas and issues in different ways. We use different mediums and elements to build a secure structure that we can live in, one that will shelter us and protect us. Yes, it may well be a physical structure that brings you a sense of ease at the end of a difficult day, but emotional security will enrich your life.
Life doesn’t come with iron-clad guarantees. Often, it’s a roller-coaster with unexpected twists and turns. There is no ‘one size’ fits all scenario. What comes easy to some is a struggle for others.
Many people have to reach rock bottom before they scream for help. Others may see the danger signs ahead and retreat earlier. This does not mean that the person who’s at rock bottom is weaker. Be aware of not disrespecting their struggle and telling them to ‘cop on’. Don’t stand in judgement. Don’t mock.
As the saying goes: “There but for the grace of God go I”.
Life isn’t perfect. There are many hiccups along the way, traumas that challenge us, and for many extreme situations that create havoc – physically and mentally. It may seem odd for me to say that I’ve been lucky to have met people who’ve been traumatized, but their stories were so powerful. It made me realize that the impossible was possible.
I was in awe of their inner strength, faith and determination. I was in awe of how they were open to being helped and healed, reaching out like hungry ducklings grasping every word of positivity, their eyes alight with hope. Yes, I’ve been lucky, because their open minds and hearts showed me new ways to travel and how to frame life in a different way.
Albeit I saw the ‘now’ moment, but it was a treasure unfolded before my eyes. None of us know what the future holds. What’s important is that we strive and try our best to remain on secure ground, be prepared for any tremors and know how to deal with them. Acknowledge that we need help and reach out to grasp it. Never take anything for granted. The maelstrom of life has many surprises.
Traumas from the past have a way of sneaking up on us and felling us at one blow. They have no respect for our serenity. Mind-monsters who gnaw at us and distract us from living the best life we can. Mind-monsters who attack and persuade us that drowning our sorrows, taking a hike into oblivion through other means, hurting ourselves, physically and mentally, making us vulnerable to attack – have no respect for how hard we are trying to avoid them. They will destroy all our good intentions and ruthlessly cast us aside.
Acknowledging any issues you have is the beginning of a new journey. Awareness that you can’t close the door and walk away will help you regain a strong foothold. Seeking help is not a weakness. It’s a strength. Be proud of yourself as you take the first step. Be kind to yourself.
Metaphorically speaking, our lives are a series of bridges. Some are built by other people, engineering feats that ensure we can cross over any ravines with total safety. Some are built by ourselves – brick by brick on a daily basis. We may not be aware of it, and often it’s only when we look back that we see the bridge that led us on to more secure ground.
Perceive your bridge building as a physical entity. Think about the elements you need. Build up a reservoir of inner strength, emotional balance, and courage. Source all and more of these elements not only from yourself, yes, you do have them, but also from other people. If a hand reaches out to help you – take it with gratitude.
Don’t be afraid. Guess what – you really do have the power to build a strong bridge that will lead you from the past to the present.
We all smile at the child who has a security blanket, often well chewed and grubby. We can put that security blanket in the wash and clean it. This is not so easily done when the security blanket covers all your secrets, the abuse and degradation others have forced upon you.
Trying to hide your very Self in a blanket, wrapped around you as tight as possible makes you feel safer.
Cowering in the shelter of a shawl, eyes wary, waiting for the next attack. Having brief moments of awareness that she was now safe. Unable to think for herself, she copied what others were doing, learning by rote. A little mimic who inadvertently had the ability to see the best and use it. Perhaps, not fully understanding and yet knowing that these were bricks she could use to build her personal bridge.
Taking her first steps, albeit cautiously, into a safer world, one where people actually cared for her. Beginning to trust. Beginning to hope.
OUR LIFE JOURNEY TOGETHER
A mother asked me to write a verse for her son. He had struggled with drug addiction for many years and was now in recovery. She wanted to frame the verse and hang above his bed to remind him of his strength and courage. Words poured from her heart with so much love and pride, bringing tears to my eyes. She was one of the many special people I’ve met who have inspired my writing, offering me their stories like a precious gift. Their bouquet of flowers to the people they loved and supported will never wither.
Our life journey together has been fraught with many challenges,
Difficulties that at times seemed insurmountable.
Together we have climbed a steep mountain,
Sliding and slipping along the way,
Clutching on to the hard rock-face, hurting and broken,
Determined to get to the top.
So many times we faltered, despairing, not knowing what lay ahead.
With strength and courage you climbed the last pinnacle,
And reached out to grasp my hand.
Thus, you helped us both to journey onwards,
Until we reached the gentler slopes.
Although, you have taken many a precarious route,
With love and commitment, you have turned your life around,
And graced mine with all your special qualities.
You have guided others along the way,
Humbly offering to help them carry their load,
Teaching them how to find their inner strength,
How to believe in themselves.
Thank you for all you are and all you do,
There is no greater gift.
READ MY BLOG – A PLACE CALLED HOPE
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